Read on if you feel so inclined...
Paula Patton was ridiculous all night. You could see her clapping in the front row. She was way impressed with all of the presenters.
Madonna? Bitch. Seriously. I said out loud "Your song won, not your film, babe!"
Angelina...I find you phoney, uninteresting and boring, but I really liked your dress.
Did you see Ashton's face when he came out after Ricky insulted his ended marriage? WHUPS!!
I thought Michelle Williams' speech about being a mom was very sweet
Natalie walking to the wrong podium cracked me up. Sweet little thing.
I really wanted Viola to win, and I think Meryl did too. Incidentally, I LOVE the name Meryl. Also, she cracks me up. I hope she got her glasses back, lol. Did you see the smooch she left on her hubby? Epic.
George + Brad = <3 Bromance fo' life!!
Downton Abbey. The End.
There were some really funny Ricky moments. I thought he was fine and I mostly think he got panned because we were expecting too much. Let's just give him props for that smart red tux, yeah? Furthermore, all hail Billy at the Oscars! YAY!!!
Did you hear Kelsey Grammer's wife is pregnant? Again I ask: BIRTH CONTROL, CELEBS? USE IT.
Martin Scorsesse has a 12 year old?? Whoa. Hugo was fantastic though. Bravo to him.
Tin Tin FTW!! I really really didn't want Cars 2 to win. Tin Tin deserved it, hands down.
I'm so sad I haven't seen The Artist yet. That actor is delicious.
Claire Danes. Babe. Pasties. They're seriously like a dollar. It gets cold in those big rooms, especially when you're nervous and/or thinking about your husband.
Paula Patton. I still can't get over her. I think she started taking Tom Cruise's drugs.
How the heck does Nicole Kidman keep getting invited to these things? On another note, her dress was stunning. Did she get a boob job?
Octavia Spencer, you looked beautiful and I love that you won SO much.
I thought Uggie on the stage was silly, frankly. This is a peoples' award show.
Let's talk about how Angelina's film was nominated under foreign film with the country listed (and announced) as USA. Fairness, in its truest form.
Fassbender's you-know-what got a shout out by George Clooney. Do you need anything else in life as a man? He might as well retire a happy man now. (After that, I looked it up. Can't find a clear pic. Damn.)
Emma Stone's dress was FABOOSH! Why wasn't SHE a presenter? She's so funny.
Oh oh!! Did you see Tina Fey photobomb Amy?? So funny.
Queen Latifah and Mary J Blidge. *makes obscene finger/tongue gesture* You know the one. Get over it.
I was SO ETERNALLY PLEASED that Lea Michelle didn't get ANY screen time. I can't handle her bullshit. (Seriously though...who poses like that?)
Seth Rogan concealing his "massive erection." One of the best moments of the night.
Colin Firth. Best. Swagger. Ever. Also, holy moly he's tall! And sexy. So sooooo sexy.
So Missi Pyle was in The Artist and all I can see her as, is Lalari...or whatever in Galaxy Quest. And when she was on screen I made a loud noise and then said, "Her translator is broken."
My new hair looks like Jodi Foster's hair. Also, she looked wonderful.
Dame Helen. Freaking class, man. Seriously. That woman? Astounds me.
So there you go. My musings on the best party in Hollywood. I'm sorry if I offended but let's be honest. These actors are full of themselves. I shall not feel bad for them. Onto the Oscars!!